I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So much Jack, so little girl.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
