why didn't you poke me back
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wear drunk well.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize