We should be called the Road Head Warriors
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
