I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
