did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
