playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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