if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
