2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
