____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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