Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
