I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
