Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
