Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
