Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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