im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
