well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize