Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
