Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize