The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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