what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
