Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize