He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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