I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
