look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she peed on how many people?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
