She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
