Nicole vs. Life
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
