1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
