$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
