she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
