wanna go halves on a baby?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
