i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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