I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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