I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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