what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
