he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
