how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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