That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
