Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
