I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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