Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Mom said you looked used
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
