Sry I called you an 8
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
