He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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