i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How naked do you want me to be?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
