walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
