well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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