I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
