Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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