she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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