Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
