is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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