do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
