About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize