I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
