I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
