How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
