brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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