My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
