When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have aggressive nipples.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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