Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
