Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
