does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
