Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You were trust falling into bushes
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
