I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
