So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
