good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
