Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
