His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
