what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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