I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
