I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize