Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
